little butterfly

Two heartbeats in this shell of mine

my old heart trudges along

holding souls with yours young one

in my womb beating strong.

fast, hard and wild.

I always knew feelings were born in the stomach

Throb, throb, throb…

Two great rusting lungs~

24 years on and i’m still

trying to remember how to breathe.

May fresh air fill your jars

As you learn the rhythm for the first time…

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

I feel you and I’m breathless

knocking on the walls of my body

reminding me you’re there.

Warrior strength of mind I hope.

Colours and flowers in your veins

I hope you eat laughter and dreams

and let it flow in your blood.

Waiting for this soul to grace this world~

With one cry i know, you’ll show me what

True love and life is.

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the ocean inside of us

I wrote this letter to you, to keep the jewels of our love beneath your pillow so they can guide me home.

I will visit you in your nightmares. I will meet you in the midst of oblivion. I will find you in your darkest terrors. I will make love to your demons until they loosen their grip on you.

I will enter your dreams, recite poetry to wake you up with our song on your hot lips.

I will dance down the universe for you to lay it at your feet. I will bow down the trees for you so you can rise. I will lose my mind for you in my search of finding you.

I’m lost in love with you, I’m lost in love with you, and I’m lost in love with you.

I know when you return to me you’ll bring my soul and mind back to me, so what do I have to fear?

I told you, my moon, you cannot hurt me, I do that well myself. Don’t worry, my love, I will make you my king. Standing between your legs my feet planted in devotion, I swear myself to you.

I will count the stars you took from my mind to make sure you didn’t lose any. I know you never would. I will whisper into your stomach like a breeze to see if you have extinguished the flames I gave to you. I know you won’t. I know you won’t.

Oh, this universe is playing games again but I won’t let it sweep us away. The ocean inside of us will rise. I swear to you, my tides will find you when you’re lost and all you want to do is hide.

Because the ocean inside of us will rise.

I’m lost in love with you, I’m lost in love with you, and I’m lost in love with you.

But the ocean inside of us will rise. I swear, we will rise.

 

if you’re an ocean, then i’m drowning

You are a calculated mistake –
something that I’ve known is wrong from the very start. And I wake up next to you every morning in my mind lately, praying that your split lips don’t sink me – even though I know it’s too late.

You’re already taking me under, because, baby –
you’re heavy like hurricane. Like a thousand drops of rain pounding down on my shoulder blades. You’re seeping into my skin and into my bloodstream. It’s only a matter of time until you spread to my heart.

It’s too late. I’m already drowning in you.

It’s too late, but god, I cannot love you. But I do, I cannot hate you. but i do.

You’re like the last boy I kissed –
which means I should already be working on forgetting the exact way your fingertips press into my hipbones or how my name sounds curled up in your mouth and the way you like to speak it so careful like a secret – like if you said it too loud, I could get away from you. Like you want to keep me. But mostly I should forget you.

And sometimes, I try, but right now, I’m calculating the exact number of words that would make me stay. That would wash away my carefully controlled emotions and make me forget to forget, because even if I say I don’t want you, I do.
I do. I swear.
I do.

Last night you told me we’re inevitable –
like the way we’re all made of stardust because of a chain reaction that set an entire universe in action.

You told me that’s how big this feeling is and that there are entire oceans living inside of you that you haven’t even begun to explore and that all of it – all of you –
could be mine.

If I want it.

Sink or swim –
I’m calling you my relapse, because the last time I felt like this, I almost didn’t make it out alive. And right now, I have lungs full of water and I’m sitting on the edge of a coastline that goes on longer than my eyes can see — so far that it terrifies me —

But we’re inevitable.

And you’re an entire ocean.

And I’m ready to drown.