The Magical Relationship Between a Writer and Their Notebook #AmWriting #Writers — BlondeWriteMore

 

I love this blog post. Absolutely spot on. My husband once said to me:

‘Your notebooks are like your external organs.’

This weekend has been spent clearing out my loft. As we battled against ten years worth of forgotten clutter I came across a few of my old writer notebooks. As I opened them up I did wonder whether they would make me cringe. But they did quite the opposite. Some of my old stories were […]

via The Magical Relationship Between a Writer and Their Notebook #AmWriting #Writers — BlondeWriteMore

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Why I Want To Be A Writer

Why do I want to be a teacher? And why do I want to be a published writer?

I want to make a difference in a child’s life. I want to inspire them to read because stories open up so many worlds. It opens up the imagination.

I remember, being a little girl in primary school as one particular teacher would read to us books by Roald Dahl. It was truly the most magical moments of the whole school day. I would be captured in the story, I would be going on a journey with the characters. I never wanted my teacher to say ‘to be continued’ after the end of a chapter. I would get lost in the words, in the journey, the adventures.

When I began to read, it was very difficult for me to put down a book. It wasn’t long before I felt that I could write stories too. I wanted to create characters and control the way their journeys go. I wanted to make my own imaginary friends and give them a world and stories and adventures and travel with them. I didn’t have many friends when I was younger and I still don’t, so I found I spent a lot of time in libraries or my room, writing, creating.

I have always wanted to inspire people, children and adults, the way the authors of the books I’ve read inspired me. I want to make someone believe in magic, believe in themselves and believe anything is possible if they set their mind to it. Anything is real if they really believe in it.

It’s passion that is the companion in my heart. Passion like fire that spreads through my veins. Passion that could set the world on fire and that is something ginormous, coming from a girl who has been on a long, rocky road of low self-esteem, self-doubt and anxiety. They have also been my companions.

But it’s up to me which road I’ll take.

Got to dash now, my little bee is ready for a nap and needs mummy.

Lots of love, Ebee.

1. Identity Crisis: Who Am I?

I think I’m going to challenge myself to blog every day this week about whatever is on my mind, in my heart. That’s what I wanted to do with this blog, express myself.

‘Be free.’

As enthralling and breathtaking those two words are, I’ve been absolutely terrified to take the plunge. Just teetering on the edge, holding my bucket of anxiety.

Lately, I think I’ve lost myself again. I need to discover who I am again, I usually do it in the pages of my notebooks, in my stories and my poetry~

but now, I want to share it with the world, or even another soul, just one, or two… or three… or…

A little voice inside me keeps saying-

‘You have so much to share with the universe. Share.’

So, who am I?

You can call me Ebee. I am twenty-five years old and I will turn twenty-six this November.

Lately the only version of me I’ve been being is ‘mummy,’ or new mother. My baby girl is eight and a half months old and she is the love of my life. What I’ve learnt of motherhood so far is that it is a beautiful, overwhelming, exhausting, chaotic, scary and wondrous journey. I have a lot, A LOT, to say about my experience so far. In another blog I’ll get into it.

I have been so caught up in being mum (which i love but it can be so draining), it is so easy to get lost in one role that you forget everything else about you. I’ve seen it happen with many women. I almost feel bad in a way or guilty even thinking about my dreams and then I think why?

Achieving my dreams (well trying to anyway) won’t stop me from being a good mother.

I just need to find a balance.

Who else am I?

I am a writer, I love to write and I am not afraid to say it’s a passion of mine.

Poetry is and will always be my first love, then i fell in love with reading and then i wanted to write my own stories. My characters were born when I was eleven, they grew up with me as my invisible friends and family. Alongside them I grew their world – Shinda Borgis.

Fully fleshed characters and lots of stories. Giants and ogres, witches and dragons and demons and more. I have a lot of ideas of what i want to do with my stories. Eventually I hope I can publish them. There will definitely be many blogs about writing.

One more thing I want to mention in this blog is,

I want to be a teacher. I have been battling with this for a while, full of doubts one minute and then the drive kicks in. I graduated from university with my English and Creative Writing degree in 2014. Sometimes I think have I left it too late? Then I had my baby and I realised if I don’t do it now, it’ll definitely be too late. My mum studied all her life and was still doing exams in her fifties!

I have finally begun a teaching application and my anxiety is hammering at my door but I just can not let it in this time! But of course there will be more about this in blogs to come.

For now, I will leave it at this,

lots of love, Ebee.