Balancing Life~

I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope but I’m concentrating so hard on not falling off. I’m focusing because I know I can make it to the other side as long as I do not lose focus.

It’s thrilling, breathtaking, stressful, scary but I am determined.

I’ve finally applied for my Teacher Training course. Primary PGCE after years of mulling it over. Whether I could do it or not, my anxiety kept me locked in a cage. Doubts crept in whenever I dared to dream. Dared to think of being ambitious.

But somehow, giving birth to my daughter seemed to turn a key and unlock me from within. Yes, I still worry none stop but that comes with motherhood. But what I didn’t realise, is that confidence, also comes with motherhood. Sometimes when I am holding my baby girl, I’m clutching her for comfort but I am also feeling… EMPOWERED. As if I’ve stepped up a level, as if I need to stop thinking about myself and think about my daughter and how I can make her a stable, secure, happy individual. How I can make her proud to call me her mother and how I can show her that she can become whoever she wants to be, she can do whatever she wants to do.

So I just jumped into it, finally. Just leapt right in. Despite all the doubts that keep trying to pull me down. I booked my professional skill tests for English and Maths and I have an interview at one of my chosen University’s for a PGCE course.

Yes, negativity is chattering away in the back of my mind telling me I won’t get through and the hundred million reasons why but it’s 10:42pm and my baby has just fallen asleep in the crook of my arm and my other hand is researching topics for my interview preparation. I’ve been doing this all day because I am worried if I stop now, I’ll give up, so I just have to keep going.

Keep writing stories, keep working on my novel, keep up with my blog, pour my heart out in poetry, study for my interview, become a teacher eventually.

Keep gobbling up the Forrero Rochers my husband bought me for our anniversary instead of sensibly eating one a day.

My husband has a fractured shoulder.

My baby girl is grumpy and teething. Her first teeth are coming through (three at the bottom and one at the top)

The laundry has piled up a little.

But I’ll find a balance because I’ve realised now, I’m a mother, a wife, a writer, a blogger, a poet, a student and an aspiring ‘to-be’ teacher so I have to find a balance…

And thrive.

Lots of love, Ebee.

Messy Room and How I (try) Dealing with It

‘A tidy room reflects a tidy mind’

This is something my mother would always say to me and I believe it’s completely true. When my room is finally clean, it feels like I can breathe and that I have space in my mind to fill up with new fresh ideas. However, I’m full of reasons, (or excuses) for why I can’t keep my room clean.

I live in a house with eleven other people. I live in my husband’s family house as we can not afford our own home at the moment. So it is me, my husband and my baby in one room. My room is basically acting as four rooms in one, my bedroom, my baby’s nursery, a laundry room and an office. This is one reason it’s so hard to keep my room clean because there is so much going on in here.

I’m also known for not being very consistent, I can’t keep on top of tidying because I have so much to do, so my room piles up very quickly and then I have to quickly clean it up as best as I can.

Here are my bad room habits and how I solve them:


Clothes are a NIGHTMARE. The job of washing, ironing, folding, putting away is never ending. Because there’s so many people in this house, I can’t wash clothes every day as we only have one machine and dryer which everyone shares. I have to wash my husbands, my own and my daughters clothing. So the dirty clothes pile up in the laundry basket, then over flow onto the floor, then they get washed and get dumped on the floor and bed for ages because I’m one: either too lazy to put them away straight away or two: I have no time or three: I’m too exhausted when I finally  have time. I’ve even thrown away three huge black bag of my own clothes in hopes that if i have less clothes to wear, there will be less washing… but it doesn’t seem to work that way.


So how do solve my laundry situation, well, once a week, I power wash. I take two days to use the machines – throw the laundry load in, wash, dry and then I have three black bag of clean clothes in my room which I have to power-put-away, which is put the clothes away as fast as you can before baby bee wakes up from her usually very short naps.


I have a king-size bed so it sometimes seems like it’s taking up half of the bedroom, it is also crammed right next to my desk so I have to use my bed as a seat for my desk. I basically live on my bed (sometimes.) I eat on it, sleep, study, write, relax. Feed little bee, change her clothes, nappy, entertain her. My bed is basically an island and the rest of the room is the sea. At the end of the day when it’s time for bed, I have to lob the pile of clothes off the bed before getting into it, only to get my foot stuck into a toy or a (clean) nappy.


Making my bed in the morning is really important. It makes my room look so much tidier. If I don’t make it, it’s far too tempting to get back into bed when my little one goes down for her nap. I like to have a few different and pretty bedding to keep my room fun, creative and not so boring. It also is a huge motivator to get me straighten my bedding in the morning.


I am really bad at taking my plates back downstairs after I eat in my room, the dishes pile up and then I end up taking them back down in smaller piles, hoping nobody notices the piles of dishes reappearing in the drawers. I know I should take them back down once I’m done with each plate, but come on guys, I have to go down two flights of stairs to reach the kitchen. (please ignore the fact it took me two flights of stairs to take the dishes up in the first place.) Okay, okay, you win, I’m just lazy.


I should stop being lazy.


I’m also really bad at putting used nappies in the bin, straight away. I usually stick it in a nappy bag and then fling it across the room hoping it land in the garbage bag, (99.9 times it doesn’t.)


…I should stop being lazy.


Another problem of mine is that once I get into a writing project, or creative project, all of my notebooks, stationary, creative paper, notes, random papers all come out and scatter everywhere, all over my bed, all over my desk across the floor next to my bed, and then when the excitement of what I was working on dies down a little bit, the papers and notebooks and art supplies and stationary…are not put away. They just lie there, probably cringing as I clumsily hop and tiptoe over and around them instead of picking them up.


Eventually I pick them up and they all get shoved back into their drawers and folders until the next time inspiration strikes. Guys, these are the only type of parties I ever throw. I’m serious.


TOYS. TOYS EVERYWHERE. We’re trying to teach little bee to play independently, so that we can get on with our jobs and chores. So that means all of her toys come out, scattered everywhere for her to explore. However, it’s not just her toys she’s interested in, it’s anything and everything. Especially things you’re using – i.e – your laptop, phone, pen, notebook etc. She especially loves tissue paper, to tear up (and then try to put in her mouth.) She loves bottles, wrappers, her shoes, empty boxes, keys etc. So the mess continues to grow and I use it as an excuse that it’s all her ‘toys.’


Well, I found a lovely box, in which every day I put a few toys in (not too much that it overwhelms her and not too less that she gets bored.) I throw in a few ordinary non-toy things (safe objects) and I let her rummage through them. She usually works her way through them before settling on a couple of things to either try to destroy or eat. (She loves doing recycling for me – ripping up cardboard or paper) and she also loves chewing and slobbering over her Mr Men hardback books and plastic spoons.

At the end of her play session, I try to either put away or throw away the ordinary things in the box and put away her toys so that I can pick different toys and objects next time she want to play.


Finally, we have the clutter on the surfaces, on the bedside tables, on the dresser, on the desk. It’s just every day things we use get left out, like hair brushes, deodorants, creams, the iron, candle, water bottles, stationary et cetra. (Sometimes these places do get a bit crowded and things end up on the floor.)


Every couple of days I try to de-clutter so that i can wipe down the surface with wipes, because dust collects easily and so that I can run the hoover over the carpet.

I could probably get into all sorts with this blog but I think I will leave it at this.

Are you a tidy or messy person?

Is there anything you can relate to in this blog?

How do you keep your room tidy and organised?

Lots of love Ebee.

P.s – As I was reading this blog post to my husband, he sat there whispering ‘you’re such a liar, a liar.’ at all of my ‘solutions.’

but what can I say… i am a story teller after all!