Flowers or Weeds~

Are you strong enough to fall

without cracking at all,

crack, crack, crack, it’s fine.

We all have a few lines

running down the palms of our hands

and upon the ground where we stand.

Unstable and breakable we’re still of use

though we’re not all pretty and new.

Polish us up a little and watch us shine,

A bit of magic and a little bit of time

is all it takes for healing and growth.

What will grow from our cracks, nobody knows.

Flowers or weeds, flower or weeds

whatever it is, it still sets us free,

It’ll let us be

It will let us be

It will let us be free.

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(Photo’s taken by me of the roses in my mother’s garden)

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Lost In Poetry And Music~

 

Okay, so how does this song make me feel.

First, let me tell you what’s happening. It’s 3:10am and I’m sitting on my bed, I’ve just fed my baby and put her back to sleep. Normally I’m desperate to get back into bed and go back to sleep in a heartbeat. I mean when you have a baby you don’t pass on the chance to sleep when you can. but I want to be myself for a change. You know, the original me. The one that sinks into music and poetry. So i put this song on and I just transform. My heart feels heavy, my breathing feels heavy, so heavy I feel like I’m trying to hold my breath so that I don’t wake anyone up with my breathing. BREATHE.

I could cry with all that I’m feeling. Exhilarated, heart broken, nostalgic, powerful, vulnerable, angry, free, happy. Inspired. And there’s adrenaline. There’s poetry. I don’t really know what’s going on. Nothing maybe but it’s beautiful. But it doesn’t make sense but it does, too. It’s all of the people’s faces who have ever influenced me in some way or another. Seeping into my poetry in my writing, in my characters, in my story, in my life. In this song. It’s all of the memories. Emotions. Thoughts. The would be’s and the never ever’s. Its everything and nothing at all. It’s a song that’s going to do this destruction and rebuild over and over and over again… What more can i say. c:

Sleep Deprived Love

(so after writing my very rambly blog about my first taste of motherhood,

https://thrivingebe.com/2018/06/05/mother-in-the-hood/

i thought this rambly poem about new mum-messy-life-baby love-emotions everywhere-who am I is appropriate to go up on the blog, enjoy c:  )

 

Dwindling dreams, poetry ripped at the seams.

Odd socks, time tick tocks. Mind – on the rocks.

Sleep deprived, we’re so dead and so alive.

We need sleep, we’re in too deep…

Heaps and heaps of dirty laundry,

Bland and boring – can’t be me.

Consumed by LOVE, lost in the role of mother.

Can’t help but whisper; ‘I love her, I love her.’

Anxiety and confidence go BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

Clutching her close when I enter the room.

She radiates my heart with excitement.

My soul brightens. Her journey, her story, all written~

Yes, I’m smitten, yes, I’m overwhelmed.

It’s chaotic, it’s beautiful, roaming in realms

I’ve never entered before, I’m worrying non-stop

Out of control car driving into writer’s block

Over and over so I’m throwing down the caffeine.

It burns my throat, I’m a tramp and a queen.

So there I am, back again, remembering

That this has always been me from the beginning.

No sense, nonsense, splatter, pop, burst, bright

Each day a dance, a walk, a run, a fight or flight.

Now shut the hell up and go to bed – GOODNIGHT.

Red Dressed Soul

 

red dress

You travel down the spiral staircase that

leads you into the depths of your soul.

Where there are no lanterns,

no candles,

no control.

Why do you do this to yourself?

You’re slipping away

But you want to stay

And all your ghosts and shadows

Trail after you wherever you go.

Untouchable and fading,

where has your thunder gone?

The crashing lightning,

the explosions, the fights and

the fireworks.

Your out-of-tune songs.

But I won’t forget you.

You were the red dressed soul

with a heart full of passion,

A belly full of laughter.

You kept your love in your pockets

and emotions in your heart.

Words were scribbles under your skin

and naturally flowed from your fingers

You were a traveller, a dreamer

A wanderer, barefoot and hair-free

stealing chimneys with yellow feelings

Searching for the green.

 

I promise,

I will find you,

Wherever you go.

New To Self Love, Love Yourself.

So you’re new to feeling in love?
Tell me how you feel, is it thrilling?
Do you feel butterflies? Are you feeling alive?
Are you warm? Is your mind occupied?
You’re ready for the ride, whichever road it takes.
Your so far from the well-talked about heart break.
You’re feeling young and beautiful and vulnerable
and you’re smiling with that hot red flush
on your cheeks, a bounce in your step
as you feel the adrenaline rush.
So you’re new to feeling in love? You’ve got
all the symptoms but before you hold forever,
grab on to the little moments to build yourself
a picture. You’re new to feeling in love?
With yourself – blow your mind a kiss, give your heart a hug.

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